The Dryer Doesn't Lie

Caught ya! Actually, I'm not sure who I caught but I'm on the case and I fully intend to crack it wide open and sniff out the guilty party!

For the past few weeks I've been opening my dryer to find wads of candy wrappers in the door jamb and in the lint trap each time I go to dry kids clothes. This means someone's been eating copious amounts of unauthorized sweets. And since two of the three children left at home should be minding their carb counting, it feels a little more like finding something especially criminal.

Before bringing in the drug candy-sniffing dogs I'll try an easier method first.  Of course I know I could easily check the kid's pockets BEFORE putting them in the wash and that would pin point exactly who the culprit is. But the problem with that modus operandi is that I've gotten out of the habit of checking pockets ever since the great "Poison Oak Breakout" of '03.   I was so miserable that I vowed to have minimal contact with the laundry before it gets washed. So Im bound to forget to check the pockets first, I'm so out of practice.

My new tactic to sniff out the user? I'm gonna wash every kids laundry separately until I find out who's behind the "Great Carb Cover-up". Once I find the little addict, well, I'm not quite sure. But I bet I'll feel like an ace detective! You can't pull "Operation: Sneek Candy" into my house!

...I'm hoping it's Connor, in which case I'll ask him to bring me home some of the goods, especially if he's got chocolate. We can eat it together in the garage, then put all the wrappers in HIS pocket and hide the evidence!

Missed My Target

Thanks to caller-ID,  I have a mini heart attack each time I see the school's phone number pops up on the screen.  Not that we've ever had a lot of emergency calls from school, but even after all these years it's still my knee jerk reaction.  So when I saw the school's number today, I reasoned with myself that Chloe was just calling to ask a minor carb question or something of the sort and that it was about time I took it all in stride and was relaxed and casual about answering the phone.

It was Chloe.  She said, "Mom, you really need to keep a calendar."

"Why's that Chloe?" I responded.

"My pump is down to one unit of insulin, I think you forgot what day it was and that you needed to change my pump." she blurted.

"Oh...what's today?" I ask.  "Didn't we just put in a new reservoir on Sunday?"

"We changed it Saturday, and today is WEDNESDAY." she said patiently.

"Dang it!  You're right, I need to start writing this stuff down on a calendar!"  I agreed.   Then told her I would head down to the school right away.  I grabbed the bin full of supplies and headed for the door thinking this was exactly why I just can't ever be so relaxed when the school calls.

We sequestered ourselves in the front office over at the couches.  No one was around but our favorite school secretary Meg.  Poor Meg had no idea she'd add full-time school nurse to her resume.  After Chloe got diabetes, she's become our go-to gal.

Chloe and I quickly went through the routine of changing everything out.   

Happily, I can report that I'm getting the hang of it now and it comes pretty easy.  I still laugh thinking of all the years my kids have been pumping and how this is all so new to me.  Chey and Mitch both got their pumps when they were a lot older so I never got the chance to practice;  teenagers aren't too excited about letting mom help with anything but gas money.  

Chloe picked a new site, I sprayed a little numbing antiseptic, pressed the dang sil-serter-torpedo-launcher at her, and...completely missed my target!  Chloe is soo skinny that you really have to search for a spot that's not skin and bones.  And naturally, I hit the skin and bones!

My eyes widened, "Oh Chloe, I missed the spot!"

Chloe held up her hand to silence me.  "Don't talk right now mom, I'm trying not to scream." she said calmly.  She kept her hand raised for a whole minute and concentrated on not yelling out.  Poor thing.

"I'm so sorry." I pleaded.

"It's okay mom, I'm just concentrating on not screaming." 

We waited a bit more.

After an eternal pause she looks at me and said, "Oh that really hurt."  Then she added with a nervous giggle,  "I was worried I was gonna scream so loud EVERYBODY in school would hear me."

So today I learned not one lesson, but TWO:

1. I need to buy a wall calendar 
2. I'll never be a sniper, I've got bad aim.

Thank goodness for a kid that is patient with her mom...and for one that can hold back a good scream.